ATTENTION BRAVE AND NOBLE CITIZENS OF EARTH

Recently, a number of pundits and official publications have been misconstruing facts
and promoting fiction to the rank of reality, in a series of bold attempts to dissuade the
general population from believing the truth. Their lies are false. Their truth is false.
Their authority is false. We can tell, because even their hair and teeth are false.

THERE IS NO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
anywhere!

The attempts to scare you into submission will ultimately fail. But will you have the
courage to win, citizens? THERE IS NO TERRORIST BY THE NAME OF ALI­ALI
AKHSENFREE. DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE. You don't believe everything you
see on TV, do you? So why believe the NEWS?

THERE IS NO ALL­SEEING FATHER OF THE ANTEDELUVIAN SECT OF
PROTOPLASMIC ORGANOIDS. Furthermore, if there were such a person, he would
not be bent on the destruction of your freedom. But there is no such person.

THERE IS NO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
unfortunately!

There is no microphone on your television set (that you know of). Therefore, YOUR TV
IS NOT LISTENING TO YOU. It is only pontificating AT you. THERE IS NO ONE
LISTENING IN ON YOU RIGHT NOW. DO NOT BE ALARMED. Your privacy is
Virtually Assured.*

You are not, in fact, the target of any conspiracy. Do not worry about what THEY tell
you. There IS NO CONSPIRACY.

Your freedom is not under attack because in order to attack a thing, it must exist.

PASS IT ON!