HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE A ROBOT

1.  Robots do not usually realize they are robots.

2.  Robots do not usually WORRY about being robots.

3.  Robots bleed red.

4.  Robots are from the future but they behave like they're from a TV show in the 1950s.

5.  Robots do not have an innate sense of the Next Big Thing, and so must rely on media outlets so they know what is cool this week.

6.  Robots are limited to feeling a maximum of 2.5 simultaneous emotions, and often mistake general perplexion for real emotion.

7.  Robots often report random tingling sensations in their extermities which is usually associated with maintaining a posture for extended periods of time.

8.  Robots are programmed to believe everything they read, as long as it is printed on expensive glossy paper.

9.  Robots are programmed to believe everything they see on TV, unless it has a laugh track.

10. Robots, when shopping, often mistake the stated opinion of the salesperson as their own opinion.